did you get engaged???
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
