that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
