Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Who died my cat blue again?
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