I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
