i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
