that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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