Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
