Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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