happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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