he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
