she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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