I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if only i could text you this smell
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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