As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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