Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
