There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize