OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
