great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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