Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
