Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
