So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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