I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
