It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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