I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Welp...herpes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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