I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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