this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
