Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize