There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Houston, we have a squirter
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
