I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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