So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
