Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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