Jerry, you need to find god
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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