Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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