Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Everything about him screamed your future.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
