Already got asked if we're dating
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
