So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize