so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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