Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
