plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
tell me about the eggs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
