Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
