Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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