I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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