Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
