Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The adults are the big ones right?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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