We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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