If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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