Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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