dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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