White coat. Heels.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
