Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
