was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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