I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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