why didn't you poke me back
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize