It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Damn victory sex feels great
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
