I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
