1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
