Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize