I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize