At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
