Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
