Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
