i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Panties = found
Randomize
