dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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